You think about it sometimes, I know you do. The one that got away. You’re either happy or sad or angry or lonely at this moment. You could have someone that loves you dearly, but at that moment as you’re thinking about the person who was just out of grasp, you don’t care about who loves you. You think about what could’ve been, what should’ve been, and then you’d heave a great sigh and go back to what you were doing at the moment.
The worst time to think about it must be when you’re lonely. What a terrible thing in general, to be lonely. I know that sometimes you can’t get out of bed because faking a smile would be too much work for that day. And that’s okay sometimes, when the only thing that you’ve accomplished was to breathe. I feel you, I know what it’s like to be left alone to the ones that got away. How selfish we were, to think that they’d stay at our bidding and then come back whenever we want to. We deserve it, we kept them on a loose string that wasn’t even ours to hold in the first place. Now all we have to hold is a pillow or a teddy bear and you grip it for the illusion that somebody is there.
We mustn’t fret over those who we left, or maybe, they left us. We have to let the universe do it’s thing. There was a reason you didn’t go back, there was a reason for why they didn’t come back. Keep it that way. There’s always a reason for everything. It’s true, you might miss them and think what life would be like if you were together now, but think, what if they were the worst person ever for you and for no explanation at all you left. You should be proud of your heart, it left what could’ve really hurt you.
I need to be made love to every second of the day. Not the intercourse shit, no, I need to be made love to with your eyes, hands, and lips. I need consistent ecstasy washing over me. I need someone to look at me with love in their eyes and have that want in their eyes. I need someone to need me like I need them; someone to need me like an addict needs their fix.
I need someone’s hands to run down me like water. I need that pleasure of someone rubbing my clit back and forth moving into the circular pattern that will make me cum pools of white and leave me dripping till the next day.
I need someone’s lips to trace my body in a thousand ways. I need someone’s lips to press against mine when thats all the romance we can show in front of everyone. I need every kiss to say “I want you, I need you, I love you, don’t ever leave me”.
I need someone’s voice to lull me to sleep. I need someone to talk me through a day. I need someone who knows how to make me laugh and cry but won’t dare use the latter. I need someone to make the whole crowd smile in exuberance with the illusion he plays and then tell me the secret that they’re missing. I need someone to tell me it’s going to be alright when everythings not okay.
I need to be made love to every second of the day.
I don’t know who will die first, either me or you. We’re both fucking junkies and we hate ourselves but we love each other. I’ve got a coke habit and he’s got a smoking habit. My nose bleeds and my heart beats too fast. He coughs and coughs and then coughs up blood. What a lovely couple we are, both dying in our own way. We’ve both got things that fucked us up, they’re heart tearing heartbreaks, and if the drugs don’t kill us then the loneliness has us in his grasp. It’s our mission to keep the other alive cause if we don’t then ya’aburnee love, ya’aburnee
Did a line
I did a line!
My god do I feel fine
Party till the dawn light
Fuck till I’m satisfied.
Hearts racing
hearts booming
I can feel it moving
ba da bum ba da bum.
Music moves
Beats in a groove
body is static
body is mind
thoughts are solidified.
Damn,
I need another line.
“ …and the night was comfortably warm as the soft filtered light continued to push the darkness into the shadows as they held each other and kissed and pushed each others darkness into the corner, believing in each others light, each others dream.
Requiem for a Dream
They’re here
the things that kill
he’s sometimes here
he keeps me on a rope.
He’ll pull and tug
all night long
and I just want the noose.
Where are you my lovelies?
I need your euphoria to wash over my brain
My god, who can stand this pain?
Walk around at night with shadows on your back.
The demons throw needles and coke, I see the bats
I’m so sorry i couldn’t fight
Who’d thought it’d get this bad
no one knows and no one cares
sometimes I wish there was somebody there
Its something though
this loneliness I’ve known
never was a beggar poor
never was the night so dark
until you’ve experienced
the loneliness
I just wanted a friend
but then
I got selfish
I wanted to fuck
and then maybe later
we could fall in love.
I’ve asked for so much
in so little time
it’s my mistake
I got selfish with the time.
You fucked me
then loved me
I got to spend the night
you let me have the covers
I got selfish in the night.
We had soul talks
We had long talks
We had fight talks
We had make-ups
I got selfish with the talks
You said you’ll love me forever
I’ll get selfish with the love
